For the Girl Who's Struggling to Fit In With the "Hot Girl Summer"
I get it. I love the hot girl summer memes and Tik Toks and posts. I am here for championing women and their bodies, and letting EVERY BODY (note the space in between there) have a hot girl summer this summer.
But I’m going to be honest, I’m not feeling a “hot girl summer” this summer. And that’s OK.
I gained weight this past year. While I managed to exercise at least two times a week almost every week of the year, there were some days and weeks—and months—where I didn’t exercise. And food? Let’s just say, I didn’t feed my body the proper nutrition. And for a long time, I felt shame. I didn’t want to admit it but I felt bad and ashamed because I was eating the wrong foods. I felt embarrassed to see friends or family out of fear of hearing “she’s gained weight.”
There isn’t a “But I then did this…” coming. I’m not writing this post to give a diet secret or say that I was inspired to start exercising every day. You can eat healthy again, you can start exercising again—that’s incredible. But all of that does not come close to body acceptance. You can drop 50 pounds or gain 50 pounds. But if you don’t love yourself, it will never be enough and that’s when you get into dangerous eating/exercise (or lack thereof) levels.
So, before I write anything else, I want to tell you this: practicing self-love and body acceptance to me is more than just writing affirmations (even though that has helped tremendously). Practicing self-love and body acceptance is a process, meaning some days you will hate your body. It’s the part afterwards, the part where you give yourself grace and pick yourself back up. Because YOU matter, no matter what size you are. Your size does not define you. Take that to heart and really consider what that means to you. Are you letting a size label you? We should not be labeled by our clothing labels. I’m not “a size 10” or “size 12,” rather I wear a size 10 or size 12. Instead, we are defined by the One who created us.
Let’s talk about that Bible verse that is commonly linked to body acceptance.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
Psalm 139:13-14, ESV
First, “fearfully and wonderfully made” means that God knows every person on this planet belongs to Him. He knows every hair on your head and every inch of cellulite. We were chosen by God to carry out His will. In Him, we have purpose. According to the Great Commission, we have a purpose to make the Gospel known. That’s so much more than what we look like.
Second, “I praise you” is meaning that we worship the one true God. We worship Him because He knows us and chose us. David, the psalmist, is praising God because He formed him in such an intricate way. That’s the thing—God didn’t make my body to look like that influencer’s or whoever. He designed me so intricately and specifically that no one besides me would look like that. When I think about that, it makes me feel unique. No one else has this body.
This can be hard to put into practice. Next time you’re scrolling, remember that your literal original design was not intended to be like everyone else’s. Next time you get stuck comparing yourself, remember that you are designed specifically in mind. God doesn’t want you to live like Kendall or Kaitlyn or whoever. He wants you to be you.
Before I finish, I’m not going to finish saying that exercising is wrong. However, exercising with the sole intent of losing inches or weight is not the right mental mindset for your workout. You should workout because it brings you joy. In fact, I've just rejoined the gym after a year of not going to the gym. Am I afraid of starting from the bottom again? Yes. But I’m going to show up not only because I love the feeling of working out but it’s healing and one step closer to full body acceptance. So, maybe you don’t fit into the “hot girl summer.” Let’s redefine it to “confident girl summer” or “happy and healthy girl summer.” Or hot girl summer, if that’s your thing.