How to Grow Closer to God When You Feel Far From Him
Hey, friends! Around the age of 21, in my senior year of college, I started growing my relationship with the Lord. I grew my relationship with God in the next few years amidst some big ups and downs. At some times during those years, I have felt far from God and at other times, felt close to Him.
Chances are if you clicked on this article, you might be feeling far from God. You might be reading this from Pinterest—maybe you searched for “how to grow closer to God.” You might be reading this from Instagram, and if you follow me from college or high school, hey! I know I don’t talk a lot about my faith on social media, but I’m looking to change that and I hope you stick around. But you absolutely don’t have to, it’s up to you.
I felt the Lord whisper on my heart a few years ago to write about Him and my faith and after running away from that calling, I’ve come to realize that writing about my faith and relationship with the Lord is something that I’m meant to do.
Before I dive into the steps to know God more, know that these “steps” are not a step-by-step guide to getting to know God. You’re not going to get to the last step and automatically know God. You might do these out of order, you might have your own routine or steps or relationship, or you might follow these and still feel stuck. Heck, these aren’t even all of the steps that you can do to grow closer to God. Whatever you’re going through and whatever stage in life you may be in, I hope some of these steps help you grow closer with the Lord. Because I was there. I am there. I’ve felt far from God and I’ve felt close to God. But as I felt far from God, I always felt a whisper on my heart saying, “you may feel far from God, but God’s never far from you.”
Cheesy, right? But it tugged on my heartstrings a little and the little web of doubt creeping into my brain was replaced with a love and gratitude for my Heavenly Father who loves me oh so much. You might be having doubts that are pulling you away from God. But God welcomes those doubts. God wants you to come to Him with those doubts. He’s never going to stray from you nor leave you.
OK, now to the real question that all of you came here for: how do I grow closer to God?
Get on your knees and pray.
You can open your Bible and turn on worship music, or you can turn everything off and pray. Take five minutes to talk to Him. Just talk. Send thanks to Him. (Read Philippians 4:8.) Thank Him for this beautiful day you’re having. Thank Him for waking up in the morning. Thank God for even the simplest of things. (Read 1 Corinthians 10:31.) Prayer can be hard for some people, and if you’re like me, it can be really hard. What do I say? What do I do? Do I bow my head and kneel? Do I close my eyes? What if I can’t hear God? I was there, asking all of those questions. And yes, those questions are completely and totally valid—you’re not the only one asking those questions.
I always come back to a verse in Psalm 46 when I feel “stuck” or far from God. I always come back to this verse whenever I feel overwhelmed with the rushing thoughts and stresses that may appear.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exhaled in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10, ESV)
Be still. And know that I am God. Isn’t that powerful? Those two words, “Be still,” are probably some of the most powerful two words in the Bible. God is asking us to be still. In this psalm, the psalmist writes, “God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns” (v. 5), talking about the rushing waters. God calms the waters and the storm, and He will control the storm in your life. “Be still, and know that I am God.” When you pray, be still. Learn how to be still and block out the noise.
Still confused about prayer? Try praying different Psalms. Recite the Lord’s Prayer. Here are three Bible verses to get you started: Psalm 46, Psalm 16:11, Matthew 6:9-13.
Recite these verses in your quiet time. Start out with these simple prayers and then just sit … and listen. Be patient. You may not hear His voice automatically, but sitting still is a practice—in fact, it’s a discipline! You wouldn’t learn how to play like a rockstar on your very first day playing the guitar, wouldn’t you? It’s the same with prayer. Just start. He is there, waiting for you, no matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been.
Start a Bible study. Either on your own or join a Bible study.
There are tons of Bible studies and commentaries—free ones, too! Blue Letter Bible, Bible Gateway, and She Reads Truth provide Bible studies and commentaries for almost every book of the Bible. A quick Google search “Bible commentary for XYZ translation” is a good place to start.
Ballin’ on a budget? The Bible app is free. Yes, FREE. The Bible app is free, y’all, for those who need to read that again. Pick a book of the Bible and begin a study on the Bible app. Pick a Bible study on there. I recommend for the newbie Christian to start out with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), Romans, Psalms, Proverbs, and any of the books ending in “Ians.”
Consider joining a Bible study at your church. Even if you are new to a city or college campus, step out in faith and join a Bible study on campus or at the new church. You never know who or what you may find.
Bible Study Tip: Do you want to join a Bible study, but maybe moved to a new city or campus and have no idea where to find one? A lifestyle and faith YouTuber/influencer, Jeanine Amapola launched her online ministry for young women, Abide Tribe, in 2020. She leads 150+ women in Bible study every week. You can join the Facebook page (link above) where you’ll get access to the Zoom Bible study links and connect with other Christian gals. And me!
Studying your Bible doesn’t have to be boring. Try Bible journaling! I used to think it wasn’t OK to write in your Bible, but in fact, it’s celebrated. The Bible is meant to be read, memorized, and studied. (Read 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Psalm 119:105, Joshua 1:8.) I write in the margins any notes and I highlight portions of anything that sticks out. Start a journal and write down Scripture, any observations from the passage you are reading, an application that you can maintain in your own life, and a prayer. Search “Bible journaling” on Pinterest to start. (You don’t have to be an artist to journal in your Bible or use different colored highlighters, but if that’s you, go for it!)
Just start. The best thing that you can do is just start reading. Take that first step.
“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4, ESV)
Get involved in church.
This can look like simply attending church services on Sundays, but go further than that. Get involved with a community group, even if that means showing up alone. It takes growth, but putting yourself out there and joining a community group is worth it. God created us to spend time together, to worship Him, to know Him and make Him known both within the community and of all nations (Matthew 28).
Get involved in service, too! Volunteer with a local church. God calls us to serve those in need. (Read Galatians 5:13, Colossians 3:23-24, Mark 9:35.)
Fill your mind with the Spirit, instead of things of this world.
Go read Romans 5:8 and 12:2.
This took me a long time for me to grasp and actually put into action. You might be thinking, OK … what does this actually look like? And how does this help me in my relationship with the Lord? Not thinking anxious thoughts? Well, yes. But for me, as I began growing closer to God on a deeper, more spiritually mature level, I was listening to worship music more and more, reading my Bible every day, praying on a continuous basis, and because of all that, I was running to Jesus instead of running to my phone every chance I could get. I’m not going to sit here and tell you to stop listening to Olivia Rodrigo’s album on repeat and never listen to it again, but when you fill your mind with things of this world like secular music, influencers, and even as something as “innocent” as TV shows and movies, you start to actually be like those things. You want to be like those influencers, instead of wanting to be like Jesus. You want to be like your favorite character in your favorite TV show, instead of wanting to be like Jesus. And when you look at those favorite things, even if you brush them off as innocent, you start to forget about God and everything that He has done for you. (But hey, Olivia Rodrigo’s album is still a must-listen and I’m still going to watch all of my favorite shows.)
Go read Romans 8:5 again. But in case you’re reading this on your lunch break, I’ll go ahead and write it out: “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit” (ESV).
Because Scripture is just that good, here is Romans 12:2 (ESV), “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
When you start to look at things of this world, you start to look like things of this world. Turn on worship music in the car. Turn to Jesus instead of Instagram when you feel stressed out or overwhelmed. I want to give you practical advice here in order to grow closer to Jesus. Because growing in your relationship with the Lord is oh so worth it.
I hope these four tips help you in your relationship with the Lord. Because embarking on this journey and path to knowing God more will help you find your purpose. This post isn’t just for newbie Christians, too. You might be stuck wandering around aimlessly, searching for the path that you thought you were on and trying to get back into relationship with Christ. I’ve been there, and I want to tell you, He has never left you. It takes calling out to Jesus and humbling yourself before Him. It takes admitting that you need a Savior in your life. (Read Romans 10:9.) Dive into Scripture. Like I’ve been emphasizing after each tip in this post, just start. It just might change your life.