Seeking Jesus Again
I’m not a runner. I power walk sometimes, and maybe—just maybe—the occasional jog. But I don’t run. You can’t catch me running (you probably can). But do I run after God? Absolutely.
I’ve been struggling these past few months. My mental health has been at an all-time low. With several attacks of anxiety at multiple points on a normal day, I just give up sometimes. And what do I do? I turn to junk food, Netflix, and Instagram. I let a mindless scroll through Instagram dictate my happiness.
It’s hard. It’s unbelievably hard to be happy all of the time. It’s difficult trying to be smiling and acting like everything’s ok all the time. I find myself worrying if I appear to be mean, then that will reflect who I am as a person.
But that, or other people, doesn’t define who I am. I have to keep reminding myself. So why is this little voice in my head saying I’m not worthy of anything great? That little voice, stemming from turning to Netflix and Instagram, is the devil trying to turn me away from the Person who matters. And right now, that little voice is winning.
Ya wanna know a cool little secret?
That little voice isn’t winning. Because ya know who already fought that battle for ya? This amazing God that would literally do anything for you—because He loves you.
It’s not every day that you meet someone like that—that’s why running after God and seeking His presence is probably the most important thing you can do. That’s the most important thing that you can do, instead of binging New Girl for the thousandth time. Seeking God is the most important thing that you can do, instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.
“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand. I shall not be shaken.” -Psalm 16:8
It’s been a journey. These past few months have made me into a giant stress ball. When even the smallest, tiniest minuscule issue would arise, that would send me into an anxiety attack. But instead of turning to my usual suspects (Netflix, Instagram, or junk food), I have a new (and improved) practice to focus on. I’m no longer putting focus into worldly things; I’m seeking Jesus yet again.
“I will give to the Lord the thanks due to His righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.” -Psalm 7:17
A New Commitment
When you’re in a friendship or relationship that fizzled out, what do you do? Block them? Cut them off and out of your life? Ignore them? Ok, what about if you’re in a friendship/relationship with Jesus: what do you do then? Do you cut that relationship out of your life? Absolutely not. You re-commit to your relationship with Him. You start to build that relationship, slowly and with caution. You start from scratch, rediscovering each one of your quirks, strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, habits, etc. That’s what I’m doing with God; I’m reconnecting with Him and dedicating myself to be a better learner and friend. I’m learning the character traits of God, who He can be and who He can be for me.
God has been there, for me, during all of those anxiety attacks and bursts of crying. Instead of seeking out Netflix, I’m seeking out Jesus. Because while Netflix is only short-term happiness, Jesus is forever. He can point you in the direction of the One who provides eternal life.
“You have given me relief when I was in distress.” -Psalm 4:1
I pray that this opens your eyes to your relationship with the Lord. Wherever you are at in your faith, I hope this resonates with you and encourages you to pray more and dedicate more time with Him. He is our sovereign Creator, the One who we should be dedicating the most time to.