Comparison sucks.

That’s it, that’s the tweet.

You probably clicked on this post because you struggle with comparison, too. You may struggle with comparing yourself to those around you, on social media, or people in your industry or field of interest. Whether you compare your relationship status, career path, school, friendships, or city—whatever it is, comparison hinders your ability to be happy and content.

When I hear the word content, my heart goes towards the Word of God.

“Not that I am speaking of behind in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13, ESV)

In this verse, Paul was speaking to the church in Philippi—from his prison cell. Paul was in chains, but he learned what it is to be content. You see, contentment is not about what your current circumstances are. Your contentment doesn’t depend on your current circumstances. You won’t reach contentment if you get that “dream apartment” or move to your dream city, or land that dream job. You won’t be content once you reach a certain level. Your contentment … and this may sound cliche … comes from Christ, who abides in you if you abide in Him (John 15:4).

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4, ESV)

Paul was speaking of a different kind of contentment in Philippians 4:11-13, not the contentment that relies on material or worldly possessions. Paul, even out of his prison cell, wasn’t rich or personally wealthy. His contentment didn’t rely on his career, bank account, relationships, or other worldly possessions. He is telling us, and the church in Philippi, that strength comes from Christ.

Our true contentment comes from a relationship with Christ, and once our hearts focus on the true love, mercy, and goodness that comes from our all-powerful Creator, we can enjoy true contentment.

Now, where does comparison fit into all of this?

When we compare our lives to someone else’s, it shows that we’re not content with our own lives. Think about it: when you compare your current living situation (even though you may have a great living situation) to that influencer on Instagram who lives in Hawaii or gets to travel all over the world, you start to get down on yourself. You start to doubt your abilities and wonder, why can’t I have that? You may even question God, and be like, why can’t I have that, God?

But no, that’s not what you’re supposed to do. (Okay, duh, I know that. But I still struggle with comparison. What do I do?)

I’m not going to write: “don’t compare.” Like, that’s the WORST advice to hear when you struggle with comparison, believe me.

However, I do believe that comparison is directly linked to envy—if not, it’s one and the same. When we compare our lives to that influencer’s life, or even your friend’s who is already married and living in a big house with her gorgeous husband, that’s envy. That is 100 percent, without a doubt, envy. And what does the Bible say about envy?

It’s sin.

So, yes, comparison is sin. Comparison is actually envy, and thus it’s a sin. (Yeah, I just used the word thus.)

So, What does the Bible say about comparison and envy?

Let me take you to one of my favorite Bible verses in the entire Bible.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2, ESV)

Paul writes to Christians that we are no longer conformed to this world; we don’t live according to our flesh, our worldly desires, aka the life we dream of in which that influencer we follow on Instagram is currently living. He tells us to stop living like everyone else and instead, be transformed from the inside out. He wants us to change how we think, to renew our minds so that we can begin to understand God’s will for our lives instead of our own will.

Another couple of verses on comparison and envy.

“But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you” … “We do not boast beyond limit in the labors of others. But our hope is that as your faith increases, our area of influence among you may be greatly enlarged, so that we may preach the gospel in lands beyond you, without boasting of work already done in another’s area of influence. Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” (2 Corinthians 10:12b-13, 15-18, ESV)
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3, ESV)
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:17, ESV)

We are not to compare one another. The Bible clearly states it, comparison and envy, as sin. However, we ALL fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), and we live in a fallen, sinful, prideful world that tends to focus on appearance. What are some tips to combat comparison?

Focus on Truth, Not Envy.

This may sound cheesy and cliche, but I’m rolling with it, so here it is: focus on truth. Memorize Scripture. Focus on what God has in store for YOU and His promises, His love, His goodness, and knowing Him, instead of what Instagram tells you what to have and who to be. You may want the big house and gorgeous husband like the people you see on Facebook, or you may want to move to the dream city and land the dream job, but focus on knowing who God is and what He has blessed you with now. Focus on Him. He is truth (John 14:6). When you feel yourself comparing, read the truth that comes from God’s Word.

Remove any distractions.

Maybe you’re deep in your comparison cycle when you scroll on social media—whether that be to influencers or Pam on Facebook who has three kids and a big house and a gorgeous husband by the age of 30. I’m telling you … just delete the app. Delete Facebook. Delete Instagram. As hard it may be to press delete, you’ll feel better in the long run. (And tbh, you can always unfollow, but you’ll probably end up comparing yourself to someone else, anyway.)

Practice gratitude.

Part of comparison, like I mentioned earlier, is that you are probably not content with your own life. It may be cheesy, and probably an overused tip, but practice gratitude. Write down three things you are grateful for every day; it can be anything! It can be simply your coffee maker or as deep as you GET to spend time with God each and every day. (And stay off social media while you do this.)

Only compare yourself to yourself.

Okay … this might sound a little counterintuitive, but I promise, it can work. Compare your past self to your current self. Maybe you want to get fit in the new year, and you have a certain ideal you want to reach for. Compare your past self and see how you can get to your new self.

AND THAT’S IT! I pray that you read this post and learned a few takeaways to combat your struggle with comparison. Comparison is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, but these four things have helped me in my struggle (especially practicing gratitude!). Know the truth of God’s Word, memorize it, commit it to memory. Know Him, and make Him known. Focus on following Him, not the ways of this world.

For The 20-Something Struggling with Comparison + Four Ways To Combat Comparison