Let’s just start this out by saying: I’m in no way an “influencer.” I’d be happy if this website gets 10 viewers. Would I love it if someone came to my website and gained some practical advice and tips and wisdom? YES. That’s what this is for! But no, I wouldn’t call myself an influencer. This blog is my hobby.

There’s some other words that I would call myself: blogger, content creator, writer, editor. I’m a sister, a daughter, a friend. Then there’s words that are beneath the surface: reserved, kindhearted, a sometimes-mess, a helper. I’m messy yet organized, sometimes anxiety gets the best of me, and I have this thing of rearranging my room to make me feel better. I’m in no way trying to influence someone, but if my words encourage someone to dig deeper into God’s Word or watch that TV show that they’ve been meaning to try or read that book that’s been on their TBR list forever, then I guess you could call me an influencer.

But the story behind my blog? I started it in college, my last semester in college actually, when I was bored. To be honest, I showed up early to class and laid my stuff at one of the tables in the academic hall and started writing. I had already started a Wordpress blog (coffee and sass lol), and so I started writing my first post. It was “sit down w/ liv” and I shared my current opinions. I LOVED it. I loved sharing my opinions on the Internet. I became hooked. I became obsessed. I felt like a real journalist, or at least Jane Sloan on The Bold Type or Carrie Bradshaw. I loved that feeling—that feeling of putting your thoughts down on page and just letting your fingers fly across the keyboard.

So why am I stressing about what posts to post and how many page viewers I’m getting? Why am I constantly pulling up my favorite bloggers and even YouTubers, trying to get ideas from them? Why am I always trying to be someone else, instead of the person that God created me to be?

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I struggle with comparison. Maybe it’s because I’m not in love with myself. Maybe there’s that pressure to constantly succeed, and the way to do that is to “be” someone else. You know when you say, “she’s my role model, she’s iconic and I want to be her.” That was me, with Taylor Swift. No joke, I watched Taylor Swift’s Miss Americana documentary a few nights ago and loved it—I don’t normally watch documentaries, but hers was AMAZING, I highly, highly recommend it. Watching her, I was trying to relate to her. I was trying to implement parts of my life to what she was going through. Taylor opened up about having an eating disorder. She talked about how all her life, she was trying to make other people happy. She talked about wanting to do more. Yes, do I strive to make other people happy? Yes, do I struggle with my weight at times? Yes, do I want to do more and help out my community? Yes, yes, yes. But why am I trying to relate to Taylor Swift, a person I don’t even know? (Disclaimer: Taylor Swift is my queen. I absolutely love her and she’s one of my favorite “influencers.”) Why can’t I be myself?

I’m blabbering. Trying to get back on point, I want to emphasize that I’m constantly looking to others to see how I can succeed. What ideas can I write about on the blog? What ideas are others writing about that got them page views? What are they writing about, so I can write about them too?

I make it my mission to not be like everyone else in my personal life. I try not to do something just because someone else is doing that. If we’re going to the same grocery store (Trader Joe’s!), it’s just because we both like the Green Goddess dressing (it’s actually amazing). Honestly, that’s the only example I can think of right now, but you get the point.

I’m not an influencer. Am I a blogger? I consider myself to be. I may not be consistent, and I may not post regularly, but I’m a blogger. I’m a writer. This is me, not looking to others for ideas. This blog serves as a hobby. It served as a portfolio. But most importantly, I hope it helps me and you. I hope it serves a purpose, whatever that may be. I don’t need to be an “influencer” to get you to buy that skincare. If you read my blogs about faith, I hope that encourages you to open up your Bible. If you read my blogs about anxiety, I hope that encourages you to open up about any problems you may be facing, and maybe even talk to someone. If you read my blogs about books or TV, I hope that encourages you to read more! Haha. Whatever you like, wherever you may be in your life journey, whoever you are, this blog is for you. But, this blog is also for me. And my blabbering.