Hey, friends. Back at it again with the Bachelor recaps. I feel like Tayshia’s (I mean, Clare’s) season just started, and now we’re to Matt’s?? Blasphemy. But alas, here we are. A lil update because I just started doing these and I want to set a couple of rules and reminders for anyone that sets out to read these recaps (that no one asked for). 1, I did not read through the girls’ bios. I started to, but honestly, I got bored and I decided to go in blind. Way back when, did they even do a deep dive into each of the contestants? Maybe, maybe not. But I’m going in blind and doing a honest recap of the season premiere for this blog post.

Okay, I’m rambling.

MEETING THE BACHELOR: MATT JAMES

Before we get into the episode, I just want to give a special shout-out to Matt’s stylist this season because wherever they shopped, they must’ve gotten a deal on those turtlenecks. Can I just say … Matt looks good in a turtleneck. He can definitely pull it off. Any other guy who wears a turtleneck looks like Dwayne the Rock Johnson in that meme.

And now getting to know Matt: he’s a commercial real estate broker in New York City. He grew up in North Carolina. He played football with Tyler Cameron, aka his best friend. But that’s not all: he works with inner-city kids, walking them around the city and taking them to different restaurants. What an angel. And again, looking great in many different turtlenecks. He comes from a single-parent household; his parents are divorced and divorced when he was very young. Raised by his mom in a Christian household, his mom seems like she’s his whole world. But I’m not sensing a Peter-Barb situation so that’s good! His mom comes to talk to him pre-night one, at Matt’s house (Bachelor house that they give the lead). Can I just say, Matt’s mom knows how to rock the leather leggings and glamour purple eye shadow. Truly iconic.

NIGHT ONE

Are we starting already? What happened to the intro? Am I being duped? Okay, producers are mean. They started the episode out with a girl stepping out of the limo and carrying um, well, a vibrator.

Okay, we’re back to the regularly scheduled programming. The usual girls’ intros roll, but in vlog format. It looks like they gave each girl their phone while they were quarantining in their hotel rooms, and then took it as they were entering the limo.

Before the limos start rolling up, Matt asks Chris a strange yet interesting question: he asks Chris to go inside the mansion (mountain resort) to get to know the process more. (Aka, what should I do if two girls are pulling each other’s hair out and creating drama in the mansion.) But they talk about some important conversations, like Matt being the first Black Bachelor lead and Matt never being in love. And I like Matt’s responses to both of them (even though it was his questions and he answered his own questions—which, in my head when I’m anxious, I tend to do too). On being the first Black Bachelor (hard to believe it’s taken Bach producers this long, but that’s a different story), Matt claims it’s a lot of pressure and he doesn’t want to “piss off black people and piss off white people…because he’s both. (His mom is white and his dad is Black.) He’s saying he’s going to end up with whoever he chooses, whoever he falls in love with—if he falls in love. And we respect that. From never being in love, he explains that his definition of love has changed over the years so maybe once he was in love, but looking back, he thinks that that wasn’t love. And I respect that.

Okay. Onto the limos! These entrances are fun. The first couple of entrances, both parties were nervous—we can easily tell Matt was nervous so it’s hard to get a read if any of these first impressions made a great first impression on him. Now we have girls showing up in non-limos (with a pickup truck, pizza delivery car, horse, and even her own car). One girl tried to steal the first kiss with Lady and the Tramp style. So, as the night went on, Matt relaxed and fell more comfortable.

And of course, from these first impressions, we can slightly tell who’s going to be singled out as the “villain.” (By the producers, of course.) Sarah, Kit, and Victoria seem like mean girl types but I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. Victoria just seemed insane to me, but she’s probably harmless and will get sent home the first night. If she does get a rose, it will be because of the producers. Sarah—I initially thought she was going to be a villain, but she seems nice and genuine especially with her family situation. I really don’t think she is going to be one, but with the producers, who knows? Kit, on the other hand, is a different story. It seems that she’s “trying” to be a villain like she’s playing all the games that typical antagonists play—rolling her eyes, stealing time, creating drama—but she’ll probably get shut down by one of these incredible ladies. I’m waiting for that moment.

Other standouts: Chelsea (the freaking runway model in that stunning dress), Kristin cracked a lawyer joke (are you a lawyer? What, like it’s hard?), Mari left him speechless, Khalah pulled up in a pickup truck and they’re both from North Carolina, Kaili (26) walked up in lingerie and made him choose between two dresses, Saneh showed up in goat slippers (lol), Abigail and her cochlear implant (can’t wait to hear her story!), MJ and the pizza delivery car (and the door snafu lol), Illeana showing up with meatballs, and last but not least, Victoria showing everyone up with a queen’s entrance. Nothing relating to her being royalty of any kind, just felt like relating to Queen Victoria for some reason. Someone has been watching The Crown.

Matt started out in prayer, which made some girls cry. Reverend Matt, as some girl called him. But really, man oh man, this season is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions and I am rooting for Matt every step of the way. I’m interested to see his faith play out in the season.

Sarah pulls him aside first. No drama there, but they walk in private and sit in one of the tents by the fire pit. Aw, how romantic. For some reason, it just feels that Sarah is going to be in the middle of all the drama. Maybe she doesn’t start it, but I feel that she will be in the center of it all.

Rachael stood out. Almost by being the cool girl like “I wasn’t interested in being here.” But opening up about being rejected and letting her guard down really made her stood out. I mean, she is 24 years old but I have to give her major respect because it takes guts to reveal that on national TV.

Mari is talking to him, about really personal things about her family being in Puerto Rico, and then the girl with the vibrator taps in. Literally.

Khaylah and Matt in the backup of that pickup truck is the beginning of every country song ever. And they’re drinking out of mason jars. I can’t. My jaw dropped to the floor at the cuteness of seeing them together.

Kit shows him a little New York snowglobe, until Victoria shows up saying “Princess, the queen is here.” That was a lil rude. It almost seems that this is all an act to Victoria. Can we just get Victoria and those girls off the screen. Lol.

Bri and Matt. Matt and Bri. She is one that could be a contender. Talking about how her mother raised her all alone, never falling in love and devoting her life to raising her. I think Matt can fall for her.

Aw, Alicia and Matt are super adorable. I’m not seeing an instant connection, but I do see potential there. I definitely see them together, developing real feelings for each other, but I’m not seeing it yet. And now oooh, they are k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Literally out of nowhere. We can stan that. Her talking about her family, her sister, and her experience being deaf is just incredible and the vulnerability that Matt wanted. And … that got her the first impression rose.

Rose Ceremony: Bri, Rachael, Chelsea, Sarah, MJ, Serena P., Khaylah, Kristin, Kit, Magi, Pieper, Mari, Illeana, Diseana (this is the name I heard, I know it’s not correct), Kaili, Marlynn, Serena C., Lauren, Sydney, Alana, Katie (vibrator gal), Anna, and Victoria + Abigail (with the first impression rose).

Closing thoughts: So far, my favorites include Bri, Rachael, Chelsea, Khaylah, Kit, Katie, Abigail, and Anna. I see some of these changing, depending on how the season goes, but overall, I think this season is going to be fun to say the least. Matt has got some great women here—but if Chris Harrison plays his cards right and the previews are correct, we might be getting another handful of women. And Heather Martin, from Colton’s season? I absolutely love her and think she deserves another shot at love, but rumor has it she gets sent home the same day. We’ll see!